Key West -- Where the Weird Go Pro

The title of my post is actually on a sign when you arrive at the airport. And it couldn't be more true.

I have been to Key West five times over the years and it really does get more outrageous every time I go. I've arrived by car, airplane and cruise ship.

Every night, they celebrate the sunset with a big party type atmosphere. There are vendors selling Conch Fritters, boozy beverages, jewelry, scarves, hats--just about any type of craft and food you can imagine. The Street Performers set up and do dangerous looking things with knives, fire and tight ropes. They sell booze cruises to view said sunset from the water. Many people make their living by providing these things to visitors.

The cruise ships that visit the port in town MUST leave before sunset as they block the view. This is how important and money making the activity is.

The first time I visited, the area where the sunset celebration was held was just an open concrete area next to where ships could dock. In recent years, hotels and condos have sprung up all across that open area but the celebration lives on in a paved area close to the water.

The drive from Miami is LONG and HOT but the 7 Mile Bridge views are just stunning.

Arriving by cruise ship is usually a quick stop--5 or 6 hours both times for me. One time we docked right at the Key West port and the other was at the military base a mile or two away.

One port stop was filled with drama as well. When we docked in the town, after our day of shopping and drinking, we watched from our balcony as the ship escorted part of a wedding party off the ship for reasons we were never sure of. The woman was screaming and carrying on that all their stuff was still on the ship -- even their car keys. Then we got to watch the approach of the late arriving drunks trying to run or at least walk fast to make it back to the ship. In the end, the ship left on time and the wedding party was left behind, still screaming and crying.

The second time, was the cruise I took my nephew on. I took him on a pub crawl I booked through the ship. Now that was fun! We had a guide and made our way all over downtown Key West, having at least one drink at every stop. My favorite drink place is called The Flying Monkey Saloon. They have a whole row of slushy machines and you can get your drinks in to-go bottles complete with lid and sippy straw! Well, you know we had to get a to-go cup because the next bar was 5 blocks away!!

The very best place for a Bloody Mary is this place, in my opinion, Unfortunately, I can't remember the name of the place. I had to have two Bloodys in the short time I was there.

We didn't stop here this time....but here is the Smallest Bar!!

And of course, we did the requisite drink at Sloppy Joe's. I'm not really sure what I had here but I know it was alcoholic!!

Needless to say, our group was a teensy bit intoxicated when we boarded that Conch Train back to the ship. It was about 126 degrees in the shade that day and the little train had to stop and everyone had to show their ship card and picture ID to the MPs. Let's just say, it's probably easier to herd cats then to try and get 25 drunks to not only understand the command but comply with it.

When we got back to the ship----finally-----and after sweating off a pound or two in the sun, we got into that air conditioning, decided we were just going to go back to the room to shower and then head up to the pool. Ummmm..... yeah......six hours later we woke up, showered and went to dinner. LOL

I've also visited during the Wine and Food Festival they hold in January. While I enjoyed it, I don't think I would do it again. You should be a very big wine connoisseur to truly enjoy what it has to offer. Wine, wine everywhere and all I wanted was a beer or a gin and tonic!! The trip was a gift though, so I just went with the flow!  I did love the food events we went to though.

And I visited with several friends a couple of times. We stayed at a hotel across the street from the Southernmost point in the United States. We cabbed it to the Sunset Celebration and after imbibing quite heavily there, decided to walk back (a couple of miles) to our hotel and visit every bar on the way back for a drink or shot.

It was during this trip back to the hotel that I was somehow talked into posing with some sort of parakeet, a lizard of some sort and a snake, artfully coiled around me. We're talking some EPIC drunkenness. Of course, this was when I was much younger and could still run with the big dogs!!
I do have the pictures, but I think I will allow you to just use your imagination here!

And the picture everyone has to take when they visit:




And remember, if you go to Key West, your liver will need several months to recover afterward.