Key West -- Where the Weird Go Pro

The title of my post is actually on a sign when you arrive at the airport. And it couldn't be more true.

I have been to Key West five times over the years and it really does get more outrageous every time I go. I've arrived by car, airplane and cruise ship.

Every night, they celebrate the sunset with a big party type atmosphere. There are vendors selling Conch Fritters, boozy beverages, jewelry, scarves, hats--just about any type of craft and food you can imagine. The Street Performers set up and do dangerous looking things with knives, fire and tight ropes. They sell booze cruises to view said sunset from the water. Many people make their living by providing these things to visitors.

The cruise ships that visit the port in town MUST leave before sunset as they block the view. This is how important and money making the activity is.

The first time I visited, the area where the sunset celebration was held was just an open concrete area next to where ships could dock. In recent years, hotels and condos have sprung up all across that open area but the celebration lives on in a paved area close to the water.

The drive from Miami is LONG and HOT but the 7 Mile Bridge views are just stunning.

Arriving by cruise ship is usually a quick stop--5 or 6 hours both times for me. One time we docked right at the Key West port and the other was at the military base a mile or two away.

One port stop was filled with drama as well. When we docked in the town, after our day of shopping and drinking, we watched from our balcony as the ship escorted part of a wedding party off the ship for reasons we were never sure of. The woman was screaming and carrying on that all their stuff was still on the ship -- even their car keys. Then we got to watch the approach of the late arriving drunks trying to run or at least walk fast to make it back to the ship. In the end, the ship left on time and the wedding party was left behind, still screaming and crying.

The second time, was the cruise I took my nephew on. I took him on a pub crawl I booked through the ship. Now that was fun! We had a guide and made our way all over downtown Key West, having at least one drink at every stop. My favorite drink place is called The Flying Monkey Saloon. They have a whole row of slushy machines and you can get your drinks in to-go bottles complete with lid and sippy straw! Well, you know we had to get a to-go cup because the next bar was 5 blocks away!!

The very best place for a Bloody Mary is this place, in my opinion, Unfortunately, I can't remember the name of the place. I had to have two Bloodys in the short time I was there.

We didn't stop here this time....but here is the Smallest Bar!!

And of course, we did the requisite drink at Sloppy Joe's. I'm not really sure what I had here but I know it was alcoholic!!

Needless to say, our group was a teensy bit intoxicated when we boarded that Conch Train back to the ship. It was about 126 degrees in the shade that day and the little train had to stop and everyone had to show their ship card and picture ID to the MPs. Let's just say, it's probably easier to herd cats then to try and get 25 drunks to not only understand the command but comply with it.

When we got back to the ship----finally-----and after sweating off a pound or two in the sun, we got into that air conditioning, decided we were just going to go back to the room to shower and then head up to the pool. Ummmm..... yeah......six hours later we woke up, showered and went to dinner. LOL

I've also visited during the Wine and Food Festival they hold in January. While I enjoyed it, I don't think I would do it again. You should be a very big wine connoisseur to truly enjoy what it has to offer. Wine, wine everywhere and all I wanted was a beer or a gin and tonic!! The trip was a gift though, so I just went with the flow!  I did love the food events we went to though.

And I visited with several friends a couple of times. We stayed at a hotel across the street from the Southernmost point in the United States. We cabbed it to the Sunset Celebration and after imbibing quite heavily there, decided to walk back (a couple of miles) to our hotel and visit every bar on the way back for a drink or shot.

It was during this trip back to the hotel that I was somehow talked into posing with some sort of parakeet, a lizard of some sort and a snake, artfully coiled around me. We're talking some EPIC drunkenness. Of course, this was when I was much younger and could still run with the big dogs!!
I do have the pictures, but I think I will allow you to just use your imagination here!

And the picture everyone has to take when they visit:




And remember, if you go to Key West, your liver will need several months to recover afterward.

Priceline is NOT always your Friend

I have been using Priceline for years to book hotel rooms prior to cruising. After all, it's usually only for one or two nights at the most. I estimate that about 90% of the time, I got a really nice hotel for far less than other booking engines or the hotel website.

If you've never used Priceline, it works like this:
You tell it where you want to stay, (In large cities, you need to specify an area like "downtown" or "beach")
How many 'stars' the hotel should have. (This is supposedly based on the type of hotel or quality of the hotel)
The date(s)
And finally, how much you are willing to pay.
You then proceed to enter your personal information---INCLUDING a credit card number.

Once you agree to their terms and press enter, if your bid is accepted, you are stuck with the hotel they choose for you. There are no refunds. You cannot change the hotel if you don't like it.

That is a very basic explanation of how Priceline works, but there is additional strategy to get free bids, rebidding or to see which hotels are being assigned. I always do the extra research...but.......

Last September, I took my nephew on a belated 21st birthday cruise. I had given him several options and he chose the cruise where Styx was performing on board. The cruise was on the Carnival Ecstasy, out of Miami.

So, I went to Priceline and chose the area "Miami, Downtown" as this encompassed the port area as well as a Shopping/Restaurant area we planned on visiting. I named my price and it was accepted. The hotel that came up was one that I had not seen on other search engines in the Downtown area.
Hmmmmm.

I went out to Trip Advisor and searched the hotel. OK---maybe it won't be so bad I thought. There were some negative reviews but I always try to balance them out with the positive ones.

Off we fly to Miami. We take a cab to the hotel and the cab driver cannot find the place and we are moving further and further into what I will just describe as the "Hood". OMG! We finally find the place and it is a high walled complex in the middle of said hood with all sorts of security in and around the place. Great.

The hotel itself was very nice and appeared very clean. It was a Springhill Suites by Marriott. It offered free breakfast and a free shuttle to the downtown shopping/restaurant area. Cool beans!

We didn't plan on leaving the hotel except on the shuttle so all seemed well.












We settle into our room and early evening we decide to take the shuttle and go to dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp. As we leave our room, and head to the elevator, we notice a very medicinal smell in the hallway and it gets stronger as we head to the elevator. Waiting for the elevator was what I can only describe as a Hospital Patient minus the butt showing gown. It was a woman, attached to an IV, with a massively bruised face and a cast on her arm. OOOOOOOOK.

We get on the elevator and head to the lobby and make our way to the shuttle. After eating at Bubba Gump's, we walked around for a couple of hours and decided to head back to the hotel. The shuttle arrives and we make our way back to the hotel passing some scary looking individuals. I was honestly a bit scared when we stopped at red lights. Anyway, we made it back to the hotel and up the elevator.

As we make our way back to our room, there is a team of paramedics attempting to move a large man on a gurney, complete with IV, out of his room (2 doors down from ours) and down the hallway. The man is moaning and while not exactly screaming, he is making quite a bit of noise.  WTH?

We go back to the room and just look at each other, not knowing what the hell is going on. I decide to go back downstairs to speak to the people at the front desk.

It turns out that this hotel is very close to a hospital and they send out of town patients here to recuperate after surgical procedures before they let them go back to wherever they are from. I said to the woman at the desk and you don't think this is something you should note on your website? Or something you should inform guests when they check-in? Apparently not.

All I am thinking is, I wonder if these people are allowed in the pools and/or hot tub. What cleaning agent they use to disinfect the rooms? Does it kill HIV or Staph or whatever??  The germaphobe in me is on high alert. Then I start thinking about the air conditioning system. Could any type of disease be spread through the air? OMG I'll never sleep.

At some point, exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep only to be awakened several times by screaming sirens on the streets and highway near the hotel.

Finally, it's morning and we can get the hell out of Dodge, so to speak. We go downstairs for the free breakfast and Nuh-Uh.. there is no way  I am eating any of that food that has been breathed on or touched by anyone staying here. We console ourselves with a cup of coffee and some boxed cereal and boxed milk.

Needless to say, I wrote quite a scathing review for both Trip Advisor and to the Hotel. Oh and the best part--my credit card information that I gave the front desk for 'incidentals' got stolen and there were fraud charges showing up for weeks after I was in Miami, LOL  Luckily, I was not responsible for any of it and a new card was issued.

The experience had no impact on my use of Priceline or on the vacation itself. I just wanted to warn everyone that Priceline is not perfect. It's really good most of the time though.
My nephew and I had a wonderful cruise and Styx was amazing!

That's how close we were to the stage! It was great. They performed for over an hour. Not bad for $10 a ticket!

Despite the ship being older, I LOVED it. I thought the decorating in the various venues was great. I would sail this ship again in a heartbeat.
One of the Bars:

 Piano Bar:

 Lobby

 Lobby/Atrium

So there you have it my friends. Priceline is like that one friend you have that is a good friend most of the time, but once in awhile becomes an obnoxious drunk!